Unfortunately this whole culture we live in promotes this idea that if you’re somehow insignificant then you’re worthless. If you’re somehow not successful, if you’re not popular, if you’re not famous, if you’re not a celebrity, you are somehow worthless. And the only way to become famous if you are that piece of shit on someone’s shoe is to go into a school and blow 25 of your classmates away. Instant fame! That’s fucked up. That’s what’s wrong with the world right now.
The suffering or the bad memories are as important as the good memories, and the good experiences. If you sort of, can imagine life as being 99% of the time quite linear, and most of the time you’re in a state of neither happiness nor sadness. And then that 1% of the time you experience moments of very crystallized happiness, or crystallized sadness, or loneliness or depression. And I believe all of those moments are very pertinent. It’s like I said to you, that for me it’s mostly those crystallized moments of melancholy which are more inspirational to me. And in a strange way they become quite beautiful in their own way. Music that is sad, melancholic, depressing, is in a kind of perverse way more uplifting. I find happy music extremely depressing, mostly - mostly quite depressing. It’s particularly this happy music that has no spirituality behind it - if it’s just sort of mindless party music, it’d be quite depressing. But largely speaking, I was the kind of person that responds more to melancholia, and it makes me feel good. And I think the reason for this is, I think if you respond strongly to that kind of art, it’s because in a way it makes you feel like you’re not alone. So when we hear a very sad song, it makes us realize that we do share this kind of common human experience, and we’re all kind of bonded in sadness and melancholia and depression.
I know I’m fucked up in a lot of ways; can’t handle people, feel better on my own, feel fine in the middle of nowhere. I know it’s a mess. Sometimes I feel done with them altogether. I don’t want to know anything about them. I don’t want to know what they listen to, what they’re going through, nothing. I feel like I am from another planet and I am only visiting.